Friday, April 20, 2007

Off-Topic: Subway Stories

While driving home yesterday evening, on this crazily bucolic 11 mile stretch of road through farms and horse country, I was remembering the 5 1/2 years I spent in New York City during my 20's. My commute always involved several subway rides within the day. More if I went out after work (which was every chance I could). I logged in a lot of hours underground.

It was a whole other world down there. And it is a long ways away from Sugar Hollow. Here are some glimpses into subway life and New Yorkers from Overheard in New York. (Be forewarned, this site is definitely not G-rated.)

Why on earth did I ever leave?! (Note: Read with sarcasm.)

Conductor: If you see someone trying to steal from you, make a lot of noise, create a big scene, and I'm sure someone will come to your aid.
Man: Clearly this guy is not from New York. Maybe he's from Utah or something. --A train

Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.--A train

Conductor: This is 175th Street. This is an A train to...This is an A train to... to nothing! Hey, does anyone know where we're going?--A train, 175th St

The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of Windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
He sprays the Windex.
Hobo: Or Spring?
He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.
Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.--F train

Subway Intercom Speaker: Hello?
Guy: We've been waiting for like an hour. Any trains coming?
Subway Intercom Speaker: Hold on, let me see...Hello, anyone there?
Guy: Yeah, we're here. There any trains coming?
Subway Intercom Speaker: There's a police investigation at Broadway. I think someone got pushed onto the tracks and run over.
Guy: But are there any trains coming? --2nd Avenue station

Dude: You're not from New York, are you?
Chick: No, I'm not.
Dude: Thought not. You're too nice.
Chick: That's the second time I've heard that today. --82nd & Columbus


No comments: