Thursday, February 7, 2008

It Has Come To This

My days; my nights. My life as a 37 1/2-week pregnant one.

11 p.m. - 6 a.m. - Flop like a fish all night, try to get comfortable. I said 'Try.' But, I won't. It will elude me. No matter the configuration of pillows and sleeping positions.

11 p.m. - 6 a.m. - Fade in and out of sleep - peppered with baby-related anxiety dreams. I mean, why spend just my days worrying - when I can fill my nights with the same, repetitive, horrible thoughts? Last night's highlights: We kept losing the baby. As in misplacing the baby. As in - leaving the baby in odd spots while we went out to dinner. Gah!

7 a.m. - Struggle to get out of bed (literally). Conjuring up the image of Kafka's The Metamorphosis and a beetle stuck on its back. I have found a rocking motion that gets my momentum going and finally results in a strange version of an upright position. And a burp or two.

7:30 a.m. - Work up a sweat getting dressed. Also, I am now down to one pair of manageable shoes - slip-ons. These must go with every outfit. Because I have almost no choice. Whether or not my socks match has become irrelevant. I can't really see my feet - so they immediately go off my radar as mattering in the bigger scheme of my dwindling fashion sense.

8 a.m. - Begin the ongoing quest for food. And water. I expect to drop 25% of it on my belly. My shirt will read like the Rosetta Stone of pregnant lady cravings. And, I expect most of this to happen within 1/2 hour of putting on fresh, clean clothes. Today - I have tomato drippings from a sandwich and chocolate. Don't ask how they got there before 9 a.m. They just did.

9 a.m. - 5 p.m. - Get through the work day. Keep feet elevated so they don't become, as our friend Tara calls them, 'throbbing pulps' a.k.a. cankles. Think about naps, couches, Netflix, naps, bedtime, fluffy pillows -about 90% of the time.

I giggle as I watch my belly undulating with everything baby. Feet, arms, baby hiccups. All that wonderful stuff. I smile real big, remembering what this is all about.

I go to bed and start all over. Always, in the end, blissfully happy and content.

And truly thankful for the experience.


Lonnie said...

RE: "Last night's highlights: We kept losing the baby. As in misplacing the baby. As in - leaving the baby in odd spots while we went out to dinner. Gah!"

Hah! I'm glad other new parents (or soon to be) feel this way! Over a month of being a parent now and I'm still wondering what the heck qualifies me for the job! We haven't left her anywhere yet, but it's one of those things that you worry about constantly.

It's like when I bought my very first home and was paranoid for weeks that I left a burner on, or the door open... except about a hundred times worse!

Still worth it though.

Sue said...

Here's a good one: peanut butter on a spoon with toll house bits stuck on top. Yum.

Your fears come out in your dreams. Just remember, it'll all be over before you know it!

Jean said...

Yeah, you're ready! said...

Oh. So. Ready.
Wonderfully written, you took me back!

Tracey said...

I am, indeed, ready.

Which I can't believe, in and of itself.

Phew . . .